PART 1         
Healing Duncan
By: (Z)Syko (G)Spice


Dave Duncan is a troubled kid. Nothing seems to be
going his way. Sure he's an intelligent young man, but all
of his problem's come crashing down on him in one fateful
day. Dave's mother learns of one her son's deepest
secrets.....that he is an infantilist. The punishment Dave
receives actually leads him to a happier life...and a chance
to start over, thanks to the help of a girl who can see
inside his shy nature and show Dave who he is.


The following is purely fiction. It contains mention of
suicide, infantilism, depression, violence, and slight
sexual content. If this offends you, then do not read.


All of the chapter titles are either quotes from movies
or song lyrics (or titles). Several other quotes are mixed
into the story itself, so keep a watchful eye. Several times
you might here a demon being mentioned...this is my
trademark character and he makes an appearance in almost
everything I write. Now, a little about me. I'm a 14 year
old aspiring writer from New Jersey. If you would like to
see something else that I wrote, please e-mail me

Thanks and enjoy!

Chapter 1: Pop Quiz Hot Shot

Life as I knew it had just ended for me. There was no
going on. But what could I do about it. Suicide? Run away
and never come back? They aren't that easy or I would have
done the long ago.
Let me explain. My name is Dave Duncan. I'm 15, really
smart, kind of shy, I bear a resemblance to Jerry O'Connell
(Derek in Scream 2, also in Sliders). The few friends I have
all call me Dunk. To everybody else, I'm `just that kid.' T
I am usually pretty reserved, I am able to get over a lot of
my problems. But this one is very different. One I can't get
over. And there's nobody I can turn to.
My problem pertains to several issues. First, my
friends and I had a meeting on the last day of school,
merely a week ago. We had all agreed that we would be taking
a little vacation, all 3 of us running away. Fred Sharpe,
being a bit of a risk taker proposed the idea. Brian Malloy,
a little more cautious thought about it then agreed. It was
down to me and Jared Woods, my best friend. I was scared,
and didn't really want to go through with it. Sure, it would
be fun. I also knew I'd kick my own ass later if I agreed,
cause with my luck, stuff always goes wrong. After some
consideration and persuasion, I gave in, and we made a
unanimous vote that we'd carry this out.
Another reason for why I feel like getting out of this
world is another incident that happened at school. How do
you like that, at least all my problems are from one source.
This one has to do with my grades and the fact I failed
shop, and got a D in Advanced Geology. My parents, upon
seeing this, will practically banish me all summer long...or
worse. Not to mention, I wasn't to thrilled with it either.
The third reason doesn't have anything to do with
school. Its actually something very personal and private.
Its also pretty hard to explain. Some people are gay, others
are cross-dressers, some have their kinks, everyone has a
secret shame. Mine was this: I am an infantilist. If you
don't know what that means, I don't blame you, its not
something that's common. An infantilist, in the simplest
terms, is somebody who has an emotional or sexual attachment
to wearing diapers and acting like a baby. I haven't decided
my reason yet. It's something that nobody knows about me,
and I'm not proud of. I keep interest in it through stuff I
gather on the Internet (I'm no pervert).
The last thing I should mention is that I'm haunted by
a demon. Yes, that's right a demon. I'll tell you more about
it later. But for now, I have a serious problem. So, given
my situation, what do I do? What do I do? Shoot the hostage?
Nah, the hostage is me.

Chapter 2: Stop or My Mother Will Shoot

As I was debating what to do with myself, fate decided
for me. I managed to get myself out of my room. I figured
I'd go get something to drink and figure out what to do from
there. As I was walking downstairs, I noticed my mother
sitting on the couch. She did not look very pleased. Great!
What did I do wrong, there were a dozen possible things. I
was getting pretty nervous.
Finally, I was able to ask, "Is something wrong, mom?"
"Yes dear, it is. And I think you know what."
I froze with fear now.
"Come with me upstairs to your room."
"Mom, this is really a bad time----"
"Now David!"
I could tell she was a little angry, so I walked
upstairs with her following me. She walked in and right to
my closet. Fuck! Now I know what she wanted to talk to me
about. After a second, she produced a home-made diaper
(pieces of cloth sewn together and lined with paper towels).
She immediately confronted me and asked me what this was. I
panicked and tried to explain. I had trouble getting the
words out, I was sweating heavily. When I finally was able
to explain that I like wearing those to her, she said
something that truly hurt, "I cannot accept this type of
behavior from you, I am very disappointed and terrified!"
With that, she left my room saying that she'd be back later.
Now to most kids my age, big deal, their parents are angry
with them, they don't really care. I am a little different
however. I have a reputation of making my parents proud of
me. I could have a day where I do one thing right the entire
day, and my parents would praise that one thing. So to me,
my parents being angry with me was crushing. Back to the
situation at hand....I was in a lot of trouble. Only now was
I able to grasp how serious this was. I kept thinking about
how I'm going to be punished, tormented, and laughed at over
this. I had to know what my mom was up to. Very quietly, I
crept downstairs. I took a long stare into the kitchen,
where I could see my mom talking on the phone. I wonder who
she was talking to. I heard her say "OK, Doctor. Thank you,"
before hanging up. A doctor? Maybe a psychiatrist. Great! My
parents think I'm crazy. They'll probably send me to some
weird clinic or something for people with disorders! I crept
back upstairs. At least my mom didn't notice me
eavesdropping. I've got to do something! Wait a minute, I
should just calm down. How bad can it be? From some of the
stories I gathered from the net, other kids in this
predicament have had to face their entire lives as babies.
That's just fiction. Still, I want to get as far away from
here as possible. Suddenly, I heard footsteps. I have to do
something and fast! Panicking further, I grabbed a bat I had
in my room, and broke the window. I reached for a shard of
glass, and put it up to my wrist.  My mom entered at that
point, and yelled, "Put that down!!!!!" I was crying, and
very much distressed, yet I was still able to let the shard
fall from my hand. I moved towards the window when my mom
grabbed me. "Just calm down," she said. "This isn't worth
dying over." Yeah, easy for you to say. I don't really
remember what happened next, but I must have gone completely
insane. I was kicking and screaming and throwing a God awful
fit. My mom was trying to calm me down, but to no avail.
During the course of this, my fist struck the wall. I froze
with pain. At this time, my mom used her weight to pin me
down to my bed. She didn't look at all angry, which was a
shock. Grabbing a roll of masking tape from my night-stand
(I was using it seal a box full of valuable baseball cards),
she bound my hands behind my back. "This is for your own
protection," she said, "I'll be back a little later. Please
try to calm down, nothing bad is going to happen." I then
recall unleashing a rather long trail of profanity, directed
at both my mother and myself for getting me into this mess
in the first place. This prompted my mom to apply some more
tape over my mouth. I tried to roll away from her, and as I
did this, I noticed that I had pissed my pants in all this
commotion. Well, my mouth was taped shut, and I was still
panicked. My mom then pulled down my pants to make sure I
didn't have a knife or anything like that concealed (a lot
of my peers did carry one should the occasion to attack
somebody or themselves arise). Here, she noticed the wet
spot. My face turned bright red, as I hadn't wet I pants
since I was maybe 8. My mom comforted me by saying that that
happens some times. She slid off my underwear, and put the
diaper she earlier confiscated on me. Leaving me in this
state to calm down, she left. I was helpless to do anything
but fear the worst.

Chapter 3: Help Myself

You little bastard, real fine mess you've gotten
yourself into. Go away.
This is unacceptable, young man. Leave me alone! Your
nothing more then a big baby. Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap.
I awoke to the sound of my mom entering my room. At
first I wondered what had happened. Then, I recalled the
debacle of before. I must have fallen asleep during the time
my mom was gone. After a few seconds, I realized that I had
wet the diaper I was wearing. Great, looks like I need to
wear these!
"David," my mom said. "We really need to talk. This is
very serious, and you really worried me before. I'm going to
ask you a few questions, and you either nod or shake your
head. I talked to a psychiatrist before, and he told me all
about this condition that you have. He also said ignoring it
will not make it go away, and the only way to deal with it
is through acceptance. I've noticed that you have been a
little depressed lately, and it could definitely tie in with
this. I'm not angry at you, and neither is your father. I
just wish you would have told me before. So, would you like
to be treated like a baby from now on?"
That truly was the question of the day, of my lifetime
even. Would I like to be treated as a baby? Of course. But
am I ready to deal with all the loss of privilege? I found
myself saying yes to this question, and turning towards my
mother, I nodded.
My mom smiled at me as she walked over and untied me.
"Glad to see that you've calmed down," she said. She
removed the tape over my mouth, and took off my shirt.
Taking a look at the condition of the diaper I was wearing,
she said, "That's OK, its just something we'll have to get
used to again." She took off the diaper, and told me to go
take a shower.
I did just that. When the water hit my body, I felt
myself being drawn very close to the truth of my decision.
It could very well affect me for the rest of my life. There
was no turning back now.
I walked back to my room, and saw my mom waiting. I was
still a bit embarrassed about her seeing me naked, but it
was just something I'd have to get used to, along with a lot
of other things. She told me to lie down on the towel that
was placed on the bed. I did that, and she proceeded to wipe
my butt and put some baby powder on me. I could feel myself
getting a little aroused, but I tried not to let my mom
know. That would be too embarrassing.
Next, my mom took a large white disposable diaper from
a bag marked Attends, and slid it under me. Bringing the
front of the diaper up, she fastened the tapes. "How are you
feeling now?" she asked.
My mom still talked to me as an adult. Good. I guess
she was letting me take this thing in my own direction,
which was a great relief. "A lot better, mom," I replied.
"Good boy," said my mom. She took out a pacifier, and
slid it into my mouth before I could do anything. I accepted
it, and began sucking. "We need a little test to see if this
is going to work out," she said. My mom took a pair of sweat
pants, and slid them on me. The fit was a bit tight. Then,
she put a tee shirt on me, and told me to look in the
I couldn't believe what I saw. Instead of a normal (OK
not so normal) teenage boy wearing Levis jeans and a casual
Eddie Bauer shirt, there was a teenage boy wearing sweat
pants that were tight enough to see a diaper bulging out the
back, and a tee-shirt that was short enough to see the top
of the diaper emerge just above the waistline. Not to
mention a pacifier in the mouth. "Eventually, we can get
some more appropriate clothes if you want.
Now then, I want you to go out to the park and play."
At first, I thought she was kidding. Then, I realized
she was not. My mom was doing this, most likely, to see if I
would be able to tolerate the humiliation that would
definitely ensue.

Chapter 4: Youth of America

From the moment I stepped outside the door of my room,
I knew there would be trouble. I could hear the diaper
crinkling loudly as I walked. The scent of baby powder
lingered in the air around me. And my shirt kept riding up,
revealing the top of the diaper itself. In addition to being
humiliating, this was pretty uncomfortable too. But I knew I
had to see if this was going to work, so I went through with
it anyway.
I walked outside and down a few blocks towards the
park. I was praying there wouldn't be anybody I knew there.
Luck was with me, and there wasn't. There were, however, a
group of punks a grade behind me. These awful kids would be
entering the high school next year. Great! Thankfully, they
were too caught up in their basketball game to notice me. I
started moving slowly across the park away from them.
"Hey kid," called one of them. "What's your name?"
"Dave," I mumbled.
"How old are you, Davey boy," asked another.
"15," I said, getting a little annoyed.
"You don't look it, loser," was the reply.
That set me off completely. "Look punks, I'm having a
bad day, you better not start with me, or else." As I was
saying this, I felt my bowels losing control, and the back
of my diaper filling with poop. The kids didn't notice this;
they laughed at my answer and left.
I was on the verge of tears, when I heard somebody call my
name. Turning around, I saw a girl who looked about my age
sitting up in a tree house. I hesitantly followed and
climbed in. Inside I noticed a younger girl, and a younger
boy also. They were apparently coloring something. To the
older girl, I said, "Hi. How do you know my name?"
"Hi," she said. "I'm Stephanie Chilla. I'm also entering the
high school next year. I don't think you know me, but I
remember seeing you around from middle school. Something
"You mean besides those dumbasses?"
"Don't let them bother you, they're stupid. There has
to be something else."
"There is, but I don't think you'd understand. Thanks
"Look, Dave. I'm up here playing with my sister and her
friend in a tree house, instead of being at a mall or
something where I `belong.' You don't think I have problems?
Well, I'd just like to try to help you with yours."
This was a tough offer to turn down. Its not often that
a beautiful girl and she was beautiful, tall, long legs,
blond hair, slight tan, green eyes) wants to talk to me,
help me even. She looked special somehow, different from all
the prissy social queens and pathetic lowlife bitches in my
grade. So, seeing that this might be a good time for
something to actually go right today, I whispered my story
into her ear.
At first, I though she might freak out and start
yelling at me, as she had this slight look of surprise on
her face. Then, she said, "Wow. That is a pretty unique
interest you have there. Don't be afraid though, glad you
told me. Its actually kinda cute." I blushed slightly. "Hey,
Katie, Ellis, this is Dave."
The younger girl and boy, turned and waved, then
resumed coloring. Stephanie then proceed to explain part of
my problem to them. I didn't feel embarrassed that much,,
after all, these kids are like 6, what can they do. Katie
giggled a little bit and then said, "That's where you
belong, Ellis." Ellis turned red and told his friend to
shutup or else. Stephanie calmed them both down, and Ellis
explained that he had been having a few too many accidents
as of late and his mom was threatening him with diapers.
After a moment of silence, Katie asked, "Are you really
wearing one?" I nodded.
"Can I see?" Stephanie intervened and explained that
that was not a nice thing to ask, but I said it was OK. I
lowered my pants enough for Katie to confirm that I was in
fact wearing a diaper. She started laughing when she saw it
until Stephanie told her to shut up. Katie then asked, "How
come there's no sticker?"
By this, I assume she meant the cartoon-like designs on
the front of a Huggies.
"There just aren't any," I told her.
"We'll see about that," she said. Katie retrieved some
smiley faces, and began adhering them onto my diaper. As she
was doing this, the smell hit her.
"Did you make poopy in your diaper?" she asked me.
I turned a little red, then regaining myself responded,
"I take the fifth on that." Neither Katie or Ellis
understood this, but Stephanie did and started to laugh. She
pulled back the elastic waistband of the diaper and upon
seeing the mess inside continued laughing.
"That's disgusting," she said, and continued laughing.
I couldn't help but laugh also. Eventually, I calmed down,
and asked her what she was doing up in a treehouse playing
with little kids, and with me even.
"I'll tell you some other time." I climbed back down
from the tree house and left for home.
From that experience I learned that I would indeed get
laughed at a bit in the future, but not everyone would be
such a jerk. Its the few that are special. For many reasons.

Chapter 5: Father Knows Best

I trudged home from the park to find my mom awaiting my
return. "How did it go?" she asked.
"Got laughed at a little bit, other then that not too
bad." I declined to tell her that I met a girl that was OK
with this.
"Are you comfortable with continuing this?" This was a
tough question, to which I answered yes. My mom smiled then
reached for the waistband of my diaper. "Looks like little
Davey needs changing.." She took my hand and led me upstairs
to my room. I was placed down on the towel again. My mom
lsid off my pants, and tossed them into the laundry. Next,
she slid a pacifier into my mouth and this time strapped in
behind my head. It was clear that babies weren't supposed to
talk and neither should I. My mom untaped my diaper,
releasing and odor into the air. She told me to lift my butt
up while she slid of the dirty diaper and tossed it into a
pail. She wiped me, sprinkled some powder on me, slid a new
diaper under, and told me to bring my butt back down. She
fastened the new diaper, and gave me a loving pat.
I thought she was finished, but she wasn't. She slid
off my shirt, and replaced it with a short white t-shirt
that had pictures of Disney characters on it. She didn't
bother to put any pants on me. Instead, she carried me back
downstairs and into the den. My mom went to the closet and
retrieved a playpen. She put me in it, gave me a few baby
toys and stuffed animals (including my Teddy-bear from when
I was a toddler), and told me to have fun. I couldn't
believe it! I wonder what other changes she made? I knew I'd
find out later.
I picked up a few toys in the playpen, and examined
them. It really didn't feel right playing with them somehow.
I was hoping that I wouldn't regret this. Well, there was
little I could do now but wait. The playpen had some kind of
mesh over the top that prevented me from getting out. After
awhile, my mom paused from cooking dinner to attend to me.
She unzipped the mesh from the playpen, and stuck her hand
in. She slid it into my diaper, and pronounced that I was
dry. I was lifted out of my playpen, and told that my father
would be home soon. This scared me. How would he react to
this, or did he already know? Would he try to punish me. I
felt like saying something but because of the pacifier, I
couldn't do anything but whimper. Well, my father did arrive
home. He spent a few minutes talking with my mother, then
walked over to me. He chuckled and I tried to back away from
him, and fell right on my ass. He picked me back up, and
said, "Don't worry, I'm not angry." That was a relief.
"Mommy and I had a long talk about this, and we decided if
this is what you want, and if this will help you to become a
better person in anyway, then this is what you shall get.
Nobody is punishing you, and we can stop this anytime. There
are rules though, which we'll discuss after dinner." I
waddled into the kitchen and was overly shocked to see a
highchair in place. My dad picked me up, removed my
pacifier, set me in it, and made sure I was strapped in. I
grimly awaited eating some mushy substance instead of
hamburgers. That wasn't totally true. I did get to eat
hamburger, only it was cut up into little pieces, and my mom
fed it to me. I was also given a bottle to drink. It took me
awhile to get the sucking motion going, but I adapted to it.
I then realized that I had to go, and I was expected to use
my diaper. I squirmed a little bit, but finally released a
stream of piss, and felt relieved. After my parents finished
eating, I had my pacifier fastened back on. My dad then
began explaining what the rules where.
1.) You may remain a baby for as long as you like, minimum
one month. Once you say no, that is it, and you won't get
another chance.

2.) You may not feed, change or dress yourself. When your
pacifier is on, you do not talk. You do not take it off
either. Where you go, what you eat, what you wear will be
decided by us. If there is something that you would like to
do on your own, you must ask permission.

3.) You do not have access to anything grown-up unless you
ask permission.

4.) The choice to act like a baby in public is yours. If we
have company over, the choice is ours. Is this understood?

I felt about as big as Muggsy Bogues was tall at this
point. However, I gave a painstaking nod. It's not that bad,
I can still do some stuff that I want, and get this kind of
treatment and attention. Why, therefore, am I unhappy?
My mom picked me up and lifted me out of my high chair.
I thought that she would carry me up to my room, but
instead, she brought me to a guest bedroom. It was decorated
entirely like a nursery, crib, changing table, wallpaper and
all. I was given a moment to absorb the awe of all this
before I was picked up and put on the changing table. My dad
took over, and took off my wet diaper, wiped and powdered
me. However, he took a stack of thick cloth diapers, pinned
them on me, and slid some plastic pants on over them. He
then took out a blue footed sleeper, and helped me get into
it. Giving me a pat on the butt, he said, "The next hour and
a half is yours, you go to bed at eight thirty. OK?"
"OK." I replied.
I walked downstairs, almost falling once, and made my
way to the den. I helped my mom store away the playpen, and
sat down to watch some TV. "You aren't going to make me
watch Barney or anything?"
"Of course not, that would be silly. Unless, of course,
we catch you trying to watch that Oz show on HBO." They had
a point. I watched that show once and it almost gave me
nightmares. I decided to watch Family Matters, featuring the
ever-clumsy Urkel. As I was watching, I asked my dad, "How
are you able to pay for all this?"
"I was assigned a new project at work. They gave me a
raise just for accepting it. That's all I can tell you about
I understood. I then asked another question, "Your not
angry with me about my grades, are you?"
"I must say, I'm a little upset. But I know you are
going to try harder next year, right?"
Two of my problems had just disappeared. It was 8:30.
My dad picked me up, and carried me into my nursery. Mom
handed me a bottle which I drank. I was then tucked into my
crib, and handed my Teddy-bear, and closed the top of the
crib. "Goodnight Davey" said my mom. I felt very secure and
relaxed lying down in my crib clutching a teddy bear,
wearing layers of soft diapers. A complete metamorphosis
from the suicidal emotionally disturbed kid from before. I
fell asleep peacefully.

Chapter 6: Mallrats

I woke up suddenly feeling very confused and somewhat
afraid. All the events of yesterday flashed by me in a blur.
As I sat up, I noticed that I had wet my diapers. My mom
came in pretty soon and said good morning. She unlocked the
top of the crib, took me out and carried me to the kitchen.
I said goo morning to my dad, and was given cereal and a
bottle from my high chair. My dad remarked that the Yankees
were on pace to break the record for most wins in a season.
This made me happy. I am not particularly athletic, or into
sports that much, but baseball (It is my pastime),
basketball (I am a decent player), and golf (it is relaxing)
are three of my favorite hobbies.
Mom led me back to the nursery. I climbed onto the
changing table, and my mom unpinned my wet diapers, cleaned
me up, and replaced them with a fresh disposable. "We are
going to the mall today," she said. This made me get very
tense. I was going to bee seen in public like this! Maybe
Mom continued to explain. "You may act like a grown up
today. You still have to wear diapers, and when we first get
to the mall, you must follow me closely. The rest of the
time is yours to "hang out" or whatever you kids do today.
Stay out of trouble and have fun." That sounded good to me.
I got off the changing table, put on a pair of jeans
(luckily they were Jncos and pretty big, so a bulge was not
evident), a Nautica T-shirt, socks, and shoes. My mom packed
with extra diapers, a bottle, and several other items. I
said goodbye to my dad, who was headed off to work, and we
were set to go.
My mom had set up a car seat for me, however I chose
not to sit in it today. The drive to the mall was pretty
long due to traffic. When we got there, my mom took my hand
and insisted that I follow her. I really didn't want to, but
when she said that little Davey would get his bottom spanked
if he didn't, I went ahead with it. We walked straight to
Macy's. Luckily, I didn't see anybody that I knew.
I was under the impression that we were going here so I
could get some new clothes. I was half-right. Instead of
stopping at the men's department, my mom led me to the baby
department, and towards an area with a sign that read
"Special Orders." I had a dreadful feeling of what might
happen next. Anyway, we waited until a clerk asked if they
could help us, and my mom said she had an appointment with
somebody named Marcia from Special Orders in this
department. The clerk directed us through a previously
locked door and into an office.
There was a lady waiting there whom I assumed was
Marcia. She smiled, and told my mom we were ready to get
started with me. I asked what they would be doing, and
Marcia gave a startling explanation. "Young man, the special
orders department over here is meant to provide for adult
and teen babies such as yourself."
"I see." I said. Marcia pointed towards a large
dressing room and bade me to enter. I did, and was
instructed to strip to just my diaper. I hesitated about
doing this, but complied. My mom entered with a handful of
items. She told me to climb onto the changing table that was
is the dressing room. First, she checked my diaper and
noticed it was a little wet. I told her I didn't want to be
changed here, and that it could wait (truth was, I didn't
feel like smelling like baby powder).
"You've been good so far," she said. "Don't give me any
problems or you might walk out of here wearing some of this
stuff." I nodded, and she proceeded to change me. Next, she
took out the first item of clothing: a one- piece underwear
set with snaps at the crotch. She helped me into it,, and
checked the fit. Looking in the mirror, I noted an obvious
bulge caused by my diaper. My mom also tried a pair of
shortalls and other items on me. Seeming satisfied, she let
me get dressed again. She paid for her purchases and we
"You have till 1:00, meet me near the door. If there
are any problems, stay over there. Be good." With that
speech, I was free. I had a sizable amount of cash in my
wallet, and intended to spend some of it. I walked by the
Areopostale store, but did not enter. Standing in front of
the store were a few acquaintances of mine: Bob Taylor,
Kevin Womack Anisha Scott, and worst of all, the leader of
this gang of skater-freaks, Matt Sabrien. I tried to just
walk by them without letting them know I was there.
"Hey, if it ain't Davey Dunks, the kid who I tied his
shoelaces around the doorknob to the girls bathroom last
year. Hey, we still friends right, chico?" That outburst
came from Matt.
This aggravated me. These kids would do anything just
to get a laugh. So I decided to beat them at their own game.
"I should hope so," I replied. "I am fuckin' your sister
every night." Everyone became silent, then after a moment,
Kevin started laughing like crazy.
"Shut the fuck up, man!" said Matt. "Aight, we even now
Dave. But da next time I see you, your ass is dead. Got
that? Fuckin' dead!"
I walked away. What retards, I thought. "That was
sweet, you really shut them up." At first I didn't recognize
the voice, but as soon as I saw the face, I knew who it was.
"Hi. Nice to see your not still up in a treehouse."
"Nah, don't have to baby-sit today. Just getting myself
some clothes."
"So, what are you doin' here?"
"Just hangin' out and looking for the most fun way to
waste cash."
"Sorry, they don't have bordellos at this mall."
This made me laugh, as well as Stephanie. After we
finished laughing, I asked her if she wanted to join me for
a soda. She agreed, and we sat down, drank soda and talked
for awhile. Stephanie grabbed a napkin, the wrote down her
address and phone number. " Come over some time." "Sure."
"C'ya Dave."
I waved goodbye and headed right to the sporting goods
store. "Hey man, where you been," Jared said startling me.
"That your girlfriend?" asked Brian.
"Yo, everybody shut up, I need to ask this guy
I got nervous as to what that question might be.
"I just heard you completely played out Matt."
"One at a time," I replied. "I've been around, she's
not my girlfriend....yet at least, and Matt started messing
with me so I did the best thing that I could."
"You know he's gonna want to kill you."
"Yup." I said authoritatively. I didn't want to get on
that subject right now. Then, I looked at my watch and
noticed the time: nearly 1:00. "Gotta bounce, later guys."
As I was making my way towards the designated exit, I heard
from behind me, "you're dead!" Matt was chasing me, so I
ran, almost knocking people over. I was at last able to make
it to the door. My mom was waiting, looking a little upset.
"You OK?" she asked.
"Yeah, fine. You?"
"What was that all about?"
At first I didn't know what she meant, then I realized
she was referring to Matt. "Oh, that kid. He keeps giving me
a hard time."
"That doesn't give you the right to sink to his level.
Now lets get going." I could tell my mom was upset. We made
our way to the car. I got inside, and my mom then told me to
lie down on the back sea so she could check my diaper. I
told her it was fine, and this got her a little angry. She
herself sat down on the seat, put me over her knee, and gave
me 5 smacks to the rear. She was careful not to hurt me,
just to get the point across. Then she checked my diaper,
which was wet, and changed it. If that wasn't enough, she
took off my clothes, and put me into an onesie. Finally, she
buckled me into the car seat, and strapped the pacifier on.
"I hope you had fun today," she said.
Though I had nothing to show for it, I knew that I did.

Chapter 7: There's Something About Mary

Life had been going really smoothly. I had developed a
daily routine: get up, eat breakfast, get changed, play in
playpen, 1 hour on the computer, get changed, watch TV or
movie, read, eat dinner, get changed, watch TV, go to sleep.
It was pleasant, yet something was definitely missing.
One morning after I had just been changed, I got a
phone call. It was Stephanie, and she wanted to know if I
wanted to come over. I asked my mom, who gave her consent,
and said that I'd be there in a little bit. I quickly put on
some grown up clothes, and tried to look my best.
"You look like your getting ready for a date," my mom
"Something like that," I replied. I said goodbye, and
headed out the door. After a bit of walking I reached
Stephanie's house. She answered when I rang the doorbell.
"Hi. Come upstairs."
I followed her up to her room, which was covered with
tons of posters. Curiously enough, she had a stuffed animal
collection. "So, what's up?" I asked.
"You once wanted to know what I was doing up in a
treehouse baby-sitting instead of hanging out with friends,
and now I'm going to tell you."
"It's because I'm weird," she said smiling.
"No your not," I replied. "Original maybe but not
"I am a person who likes to speak my mind, and I also
like helping people. Compared to other kids today, that's
"That's not weird at all. There has to be something
"There might be, I don't know, but now it's your turn."
"I suppose you want to know why I'm wearing diapers?"
Pausing for a moment, I answered, "It's my escape. I
live in a very disturbed world, and here I get a sense of
security and dependence. That makes me weird."
"No, not really. I can relate to that, only you express
it more...umm...uniquely."
Looking around her room, I noticed a picture of her
standing next to Sarah McGowan, a girl I've had a crush on
for years. "Is that Sarah McGowan?" I asked.
"Yeah, she's my totally clueless stepsister."
"I used to have a crush on her."
Stephanie laughed a lot, then became very quiet and
somber. Finally she said, "Sarah is a nice person, but I
hate her. I just hate her."
"Why's that?"
"You probably wouldn't understand."
"It's OK, you can tell me. I won't tell anybody else."
"No it's not like that I..."
"You like helping people, but you can't for once let
somebody help you?"
She was starting to cry, and I wanted to help her, but
I had a feeling doing that would hurt her more. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault."
"Is their anything I can do?"
"Best bet is for you to stay away."
"Well, thanks anyway."
"Yeah, you too Dave."
I left with a lot on my mind.

Chapter 8: He Got Game

Instead of going home, I walked to the park. It was
completely vacant. I found a basketball near one of the
picnic benches and grabbed it. Almost like a sixth sense, I
dribbled towards the court. Now is my time, the world can
I stopped at the foul line and continued dribbling. How
can I help somebody who doesn't want help? I took the shot,
it went in. I rebounded. Let's see, about a year ago, this
was me. Another shot, off the board. I ran in and got the
lay-up off the rebound, and took it back. Matt and his gang
of rejects had given me trouble of all kinds. But what did I
do? Go for help? No, I suffered it out. I don't know if that
was such a good idea, I don't know if I'd do that if it
happened again. I hit a 3-point shot.
I almost committed suicide. Why? Because I tried to
handle it myself, and I couldn't, so I had to end it myself.
But that's not the answer, is it? My next shot was airball.
It started to rain. No, the answer is to get help. To not be
afraid. If I could only convince her. I spun the ball on my
fingers. Then there's hope. I hit another 3-point.
It was raining, but I didn't care. I took my sweat time
walking home. The rain was refreshing compared to the hot,
humid, hazy air. Besides, I was already wet. When I arrived
home, my mom's first question was, "where were you all that
"Trying to save lives and playing basketball."
"It's pouring out there. Look at you, your soaked. I
just hope you don't get sick." She told me to take off my
clothes and take a shower. I did so, and let the hot water
relax me. When I emerged from the bathroom, my mom told me
to go to my nursery. I did, and she diapered me. Much to my
chagrin, she put on the pacifier, and locked me in the
playpen. I threw a bunch of toys around, and waited until
My dad was running late for some reason, so my mom fed
me dinner. I was given my bottle, and also got some ice
cream. Later, it was my bedtime, and my dad still wasn't
home. I was getting a little nervous, and clutched my teddy
bear. I also wet my diapers. I did not, however, fall
asleep. I could hear my dad arrive home, and having a long
conversation with my mom. "Project Healing Duncan has been a
huge success," I heard my dad say.
"I just hope Davey doesn't mind," said my mom.
Were they talking about me? Wait and see kid, said a
voice inside my head. I had a sinking feeling, and felt like
I was getting laughed at by some unknown force.

Chapter 9: Torn Apart

The next morning I woke up with a feeling of anxiety. I
had to find out what my dad was up to last night. I figured
to do some researching with out letting my mom know. She
said good morning, fed me, and changed me as usual. I was
given my pacifier and set down in the playpen. Now how was I
going to get out?
Luckily, my mom had to run a few errands, and left me
here. I quickly worked my finger through the mesh and
unzipped the top of the playpen. Reaching behind my head, I
took off my pacifier. I then headed downstairs towards the
basement to my dad's office. What I found was astounding.
Previously, I had known very little about my father's
occupation. I knew he worked partially as a scientist,
partially as a psychiatrist, and partially as a researcher.
His company had always been shrouded in mystery. And this
new project only added to the suspense. It was time to find
out what the surprise was.
I turned on my father's computer, and hacked into his
personal files. From here, I was able to get the combination
to his locked file cabinet (I didn't feel like busting the
lock else he find out). There was a large folder marked
Healing Duncan. My fingers itching from nervousness, I
opened it.
To my great shock, inside was a lot of information
about me. More particularly, about the baby side of me. I
lifted the top sheet of the file and found a large letter
that gave me a lot of information. Healing Duncan was a
project in humanity. Its purpose was to find out what unique
things make individuals happy and why. I was their current
subject. They were using me as part of some damn test!
I turned on my father's fax machine and made a copy of
the letter. I then put everything back and returned
upstairs. My bowels were clenching due to all this
tenseness. The toilet was right there, and I felt like using
it for once. But no, I didn't want to cause any trouble with
my parents. At least not until they got home!
Squatting down, I pooped in my diaper. I could hear my
mom's car pulling up, so I hurriedly put the pacifier back
in my mouth, climbed back in the playpen, and zipped the
mesh. I pretended to look busy playing with my toys when my
mom entered. She checked my diaper, and changed me in my
nursery. The pacifier remained in place.
I was given a bottle and put into my crib for a nap. A
thought reached me: me, Fred, Brian, and Jared are scheduled
to run away soon. What should I tell them? Well, the way I'm
feeling right now, I think running away would be a good
idea. I could feel something within my subconscious telling
me to do it.
My dad was running late again. During dinner, mom could
tell there was something bothering me, but I wasn't going to
tell her what. After I was diapered for the night, my dad
arrived home. I was given my grown-up time, and decided to
use it to confront my father.
"So Dad, how's work going?"
"Pretty good , Son."
"How's that secret project of yours?"
"Going pretty good."
I wasn't getting very far here, so I kicked it up a
notch. "You know, Dad, I wonder if this change in lifestyle
has affected my body any. Perhaps I should see a doctor for
a physical."
Giving me a slightly nervous smile, my dad said, "Son,
I'm sure you are doing just great."
"So everything's great?"
"You bet ya."
"In your office, you have a poster. It reads: The truth
shall set you free."
My dad became quite cross, and finally asked, "David,
what are you getting at?"
"I heard you and mom talking last night. About me.
About this so-called project healing Duncan. And I don't
appreciate being a lab rat. I hope you can understand!"
"David, just wait a minute, I don't think you know what
you are talking about. The project...."
I didn't wait for him to finish, I just stormed up to
my room. Not my nursery, my good old room for once. I could
still hear my parents talking downstairs.
"Warren, should you do something?"
"Yes, Mary. But it's important that Dave calms down
That's all I chose to hear. I just sat down on my bed
absorbed in a from of self-hate self pity. I didn't cry, but
tears came to my eyes and rolled off. Around 11:00, I got a
phone call. It was Jared. He said we were going tonight! I
was to meet them at the park. I him I'd be there.
I figured, what the fuck, it can't get any worse. "The
truth has set me free!" I said to myself. I threw off all
this baby clothing and got a pair of boxers out of my
dresser. Then I paused: maybe all this time as a baby has
affected me somehow! I grabbed a single cloth diaper, put it
inside my boxers, and slid them on. I threw on some jeans, a
shirt, and grabbed my jacket. I also packed my backpack full
of stuff I'd be needing.
I was all set to leave when I remembered something
important. My parents, no matter how much I resented them
right now, would miss me. So I wrote them a note. Then I
also wrote a letter to Stephanie. It read:

For reasons which I cannot reveal, I have ran away from
home. Destination unknown. I just wanted to let you know
that I love you. Also, it's OK to let people into your
world. Otherwise, you'll end up like me.


My parents figured that I would be asleep by now. They
wouldn't come up here. I opened my window, and slowly
climbed down. The dark cool night air hit me as I moved. No
turning back now. I made my way towards the park, stopping
at a mailbox to mail the letter.
Who should appear about a block behind me but Matt.
"Wait up Dave," he said. I just started running faster. "I
won't kill you," he said. Yeah, well you'll torture me
instead, bitch. I reached the park, where my friends were
all assembled.
"Let's do it!"

Chapter 10: It's a Long Hard Road Out of Hell

We ran all night until the blackness outlasted our
flashlights. Finally, we came upon a wooded area, and
decided to go camping. We found a spot, and sat down on our
backpacks. "Kicks so far, right guys," said Fred.
"Were in the middle of nowhere at night. That's pretty
cool in a sick, demented way, but I wouldn't exactly say
that kicks," Jared intervened.
"He's right, man."
"All right, next town we hit, we have some fun. Then,
we start heading back. That OK with everybody?"
"Yup," we all said in unison.
"Lets get some sleep first," I said. "We'll do it like
this: 2 of us sleep, 2 of us keep watch."
"Good idea Dave," said Fred. "Since you came up with
it, you and Jared keep watch, and me and Brian will sleep."
We agreed to this and I sat down glaring at the stars.
What had I gotten into? Why am I doing this? Why do
"Why are you staring at the sky?" asked Jared.
"Just thinking...life sux."
"That's why were doing this, man."
"But will running away actually make it better."
"Wait and see."
I did. I waited and waited. It was my turn to sleep,
but I couldn't. All I could do is think: what am I doing
here? At about 9:00 the next morning, everybody else woke
up. I realized I had to piss, so I headed for a tree and
marked my initials. There was a small town called
Vandersberg about half a mile from here. We would go there
and check it out.
Upon arriving in Vandersberg, we noticed an arcade/pub.
Naturally, we all being reckless game-freaked kids, decided
to check it out. We managed to blow quite a bit of cash on
food and Mortal Kombat 4. Nearly broke, yet happy, we walked
out and decided to see what else this town has to offer.
Turning the corner, we saw a most disturbing site: posted on
a telephone poll were all of us in a missing children
bulletin. Worse yet, about a block away were some officers
of the law.
Fred let out an extensive string of profanity, and we
decided to run. And run we did. We ran back to the forested
area, picked up the rest of our stuff, and out of paranoia,
ran some more. Suddenly, Brian stopped dead in his tracks.
"What is it?" Fred asked.
"Sounds like a bear or something."
"To the trees. Fast!"
"Bears can climb trees, fearless leader," I said
"I got a better idea," said Jared. "We put our stuff
here as a distraction and run for the biggest, tallest tree
we can find."
This seemed like it would work on desperation and blind
luck, of which we were well stocked. We took off, blasting
across the foliage like a pack of dogs racing to a steak.
Sure enough, there was a bear in the area. Luckily, there
was also a huge tree. Brian, Jared, and Fred started
climbing it, and motioned for me to follow. For some unknown
reason, I didn't.
I was tired of running. So I picked up a rock and
lobbed it in the direction of the bear. "Hey Smokey, over
here!" I shouted.
"Are you fuckin' insane?" asked my friends.
"No, just eccentric."
The bear, which had been thoroughly sniffing the area,
turned slowly, and looked disgruntled. It then advanced in
my direction, growling and grumbling along the way.
Everything I knew said I should just freeze and let it sniff
me, find me not appetizing, and let it walk away (luckily,
this was a common brown bear, who will not tear you apart
for no reason). However, I was on a different game-plan.
As the bear drew near, I backed up, drawing it away
from the tree and my friends. Saved them, but what about me?
Very simple, I'm up against a Grizzly. As in Vancouver
Grizzly. That's Bryan Reeves, and I'm aspiring 76'ers
shooting guard Dave Duncan. Time to break some ankles, and
hopefully not my arm.
I took a rock, and waved it in front of the bear, who
moved towards it to investigate. Holding the rock so it
could see, I began the race. I cut to the left of the ursine
animal, and it followed. Speeding up, I made a blind jump
for the limb of the tree, and got there, dropping the rock
in mid air. It was astonishing, glorious, and simply
possessed a beauty in the fact that it seemed so unreal.
My friends clapped and cheered, and the bear was fixed
solely on the rock. "2 point field goal!" I said. At that
second, the limb gave way, and I fell from the tree into a
ravine. I was stuck and in pain. I was doomed.
"Don't worry, we'll get you out of there," said Jared.
"What about the bear?" asked Brian.
"It won't bother me," I said. "I won and it knows it.
Besides, in the NBA, any post-game altercations result in
fine an suspension."
They laughed, and started back towards the town to get
help. Jared decided to stay with me though.
"Dave, juts hang on. I'll make sure nothing much
"In the event I die, don't bitch about it too long."
"You won't die, you still owe me money!" After a
moment, he asked, "Why did you run away?"
"Same as you guys, I guess. Problems, basically."
"Its just not you. You never run away from problems,
you beat them. I mean, well, what kind of problems would
push you this far?"
"Its a personal secret."
"I'm your best friend, I swear I will not tell
"OK, I'll believe you. Here goes: you know that time
Fred found a Playboy a few years ago, and we were too young
to understand much?"
"Yeah, that was cool."
"Well, you know the page with the girl dressed up like
a baby?"
"And we all laughed cause we couldn't figure out why?
Well, some people find that a turn on."
"And your one of them?"
"Kinda, but not really. Its more of an emotional thing.
Jared, what ever happened to the old days?"
"What do you mean?"
"When summer was about playing kickball and going under
the hose and to the pool not having to worry about mowing
lawns for money or jobs or anything?"
"Yeah, I know what you mean, I miss that stuff."
"Me too. In that aspect, growing up sucks. Don't get me
wrong, I like being able to hang out wherever I want and
watch R rated movies, but I was wondering where all the fun
went. So I figured if I can act younger while keeping all
the privileges and stuff without anybody knowing, that would
be perfect."
I was immediately regretting what I just said. What if
Jared thought I was a faggoty immature little freak or
something? Then again, he's my best friend. "I can relate to
that, Dave," he said.
"Sure. In a way, we all want that, just we don't all go
for it like you do. Remember at Brain's party last year when
Fred did his Power Ranger impersonation and starting playing
with Brain's little cousins instead of us? Why do you think
he did that?"
"Cause Fred is a dumbass who likes to make people laugh
by acting stupid?"
"Yeah, that too."
At this point, I began to feel like I was actually
going to get out of the ravine after all. That hope couldn't
hold back my bladder though. Good thing I decided to wear
that cloth diaper. After a moment, I heard noise from the
top of the ravine, and I saw police officers lift me out.
Brian and Fred were happy to see me, and were still
applauding my slam dunk to the tree from before. For once, I
felt good on the outside...and the inside.

Chapter 11: Don't Fear the Reaper

A week later......

After recovering from the minor injuries I sustained
during that incident, life picked up again. I had a nice
long talk with my parents in which we agreed to be more
communicative. They apologized for not telling me about the
research, and I apologized for running away. I got minimal
In addition to my friends respecting me, I got a most
surprising visit from Matt Sabrien. Instead of giving me a
hard time, he apologized for all the incidents of the past.
He was impressed by the running away and by the bear
diversion. "You got a lot of balls kid." We also made an
agreement: we would get a one-on-one fight to settle all and
any unfinished business between us. Why do this when Matt
could just hurt me anyway? He said he was giving me a chance
to win. The question was could I. I would find out later.
That day after I was changed and fed, I put on some
jeans and a T-shirt, and got ready to kill or be killed. I
asked my mom if I could go to the park, and she said yes.
There was already a crowd there, probably expecting my
demise. My friends were there, ready to cheer me on. Matt
was there, ready to win, or ready to lose. So was I.
The crowd quieted a little, and we got going. Matt
threw a right hook to my jaw. It hurt and snapped my head
back, but I regained, and pummeled his abdomen with a series
of blows. He uppercut and kicked me pretty hard. The crowds
were screaming for more. Matt didn't want to hospitalize me,
but he didn't want to stop either. "I'm ending this kid," he
shouted out loud.
Matt dragged my feet up into the air and put them on
his shoulders. He was going to powerbomb me! The crowd
cheered and chanted, "powerbomb!" How was I going to get out
of one of the most devastating wrestling moves ever
performed? By performing one even more devastating. I
constricted my legs around his neck, catching him surprised.
Up in over, one chance I got. Lifting my body towards the
ground and keeping my legs tight, I performed a handstand,
which resulted in a frankensteiner!
Matt was simply devastated. He just lied there. The
crowds all cheered me. Matt's friends were ready to kill me.
I shouted time out and asked Matt if he was OK. I helped him
back up, and he called off his friends. "Good fight Dave,"
he said. In the meantime, my friends were overwhelming me
with questions and remarks about how I had just beat Matt
Sabrien, and we should go out an celebrate.
Something, actually someone, made me decline from that
offer. "Guys, I got to see about a girl," I said a la Matt
Damon in "Good Will Hunting." The world was now mine.

Chapter 12: Hush

I rang the doorbell and found Stephanie at home and
waiting for me. "Hey, saw the fight. That handstand thing
was sweet but the best part was when you helped him up.
That's what makes you you."
"I got your letter. You didn't have to run away, you
could have just told me that."
"I know. I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same."
"Your in luck, I do."
We hugged. For the first time in my life, I had a real
girlfriend. Then I asked her, "There's something I have to
Without me saying what, she nodded, and began her life
story. "My birth parents were really nice from what I could
remember. My mother died right after Katie was born. My
father took it pretty well, and he went out of his way to
make sure we had a good family situation. He was always
there for me. Then, on a rainy day, he was hit my a drunk
At this point, I my heart poured open like the skies of
an Amazon rain forest.
"We were put through an adoption agency rather then
stay with my aunt. My foster father was a complete monster.
He never paid attention to me or Katie unless to yell at us
or complain about something which we did which wasn't our
fault. He got especially frustrated when Katie was potty
training. One night he was drunk and ready do give her a
beating until I stepped in..."
Stephanie began to cry and held me tighter.
"He hit me so hard that I wet my pants. He used that
against me, and said that I needed diapers just like a baby
would. So that night, he....put a pacifier in Katie's mouth
and locked her in her crib...then he....stripped off all my
clothes but the diaper which he made me wear, tied me up and
gagged me, and stormed out of the house."
Police found us the next morning and brought us through
adoption to here. They never found my father. Katie was too
young to remember any of it. But I think about it every day.
This is why I want to help people, and why I don't trust
I was thoroughly shocked and almost cried myself. "What
about here?"
"Mr. And Mrs. McGowana re nice, but they are always
busy, and when their not, its always Sarah first. I could
sell $300 dollars in fund-raisers, and I would get a `very
nice,' while if Sarah got a new hairstyle, it would be all
everyone would talk about."
"I think your foster parents might love you as much or
more then Sarah. I mean, your like selfless....and mature.
Sarah needs a pat on the back or she'd breakdown. At school,
she complains about everything. Your better then that."
"Thanks a lot Dave."
"So, we're a couple now?"
"Yup. Guess so. And you know what that means?"
"I get to change your diaper."
With that, she jumped on me sending me to the floor
(good thing it was carpeted). She unzipped my jeans and slid
them down, and took off my diaper (which was wet). "Been
saving these for you," she said, putting on a very thick
cloth diaper and plastic pants.
"Where did you get these?"
"Sewed them myself, I think you look cute like that."
I kissed her. "Thanks."
As I would later say to my dad to put in his report,
Project Healing Duncan has been a huge success.


Dave Duncan and Stephanie Chilla spent the remainder of
the summer together. They continued to be a happy couple
despite what anyone might say. In fact, they are still
together right now. Dave made the JV basketball team and is
also a little league batting coach. Stephanie publishes
poetry for the high school newsletter.
Fred Sharpe, Brian Malloy, and Jared Woods continue to
be Dave's friends and supporters. Fred, upon losing a bet to
older kids, was forced to be a baby for one full day. He was
laughed at by everybody but Jared ad Dave.
Matt Sabrien and friends left David alone for the most
part. They would acually help him out at a later date.
Katie Chilla and Ellis Brannard are still friends. They
continually tease each other and argue almost like a couple.
This is the end of the story for now. However, expect
to see more in The Further Adventures of Dave Duncan.

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