Being an ABDL, I have often had conflicting emotions over my desire to be a baby & act & dress like one. Having been
married (once) & having gone thru several relationships since getting divorced; I have had varying results with the amount of acceptance of my ABDL desires, by the women whom I have had relationships with.
Finally, I got up the courage to go to a professional therapist, and discuss my ABDL desires. Fortunately, I was able to find one who is very open-minded & liberal; & nonjudgmental. I felt that I could never discuss this
with a male, thus I chose a female therapist. I also look at her as being a "mommy".
After going over my personal history; I explained my ABDL desires, and asked if "regression therapy" could help me to come to terms with my desires. My therapist has been eager to learn about my emotions & reasoning for being an ABDL; thus has had me going thru the "regression therapy" for several sessions.
This started with our entering detailed discussions about my ABDL feelings; followed by her telling me to act as if I am going back into my "babyhood", & acting like a baby. Each session starts with my describing some of my actual childhood experiences. I was a chronic bedwetter into my teens; & my mother gave me no choice but to wear a cloth diaper & plastic pants every night. This was in the 1950's & 1960's; before disposables became available.
She punished me, to shame me into stopping my bedwetting (to no avail), by changing me (even when I was a teen), & making me go out to the backyard clothesline (during warm sunny weather) & hang up my diapers & plastic pants (which had been washed in the clothes washing machine).
She made me go outside while wearing nothing but my diaper & plastic pants. My mother also had me wear nothing but my diaper & plastic pants, while around the house, before & after school; as well as all thru the morning on weekends, & every evening for 2 hours before bedtime. I have 2 sisters (who often teased me about my being in diapers).
My dad went along with my mother's insistence that I wear diapers around the house; since I was still a bedwetter. Each of my therapy sessions is started by a discussion of my childhood & teen diaper wearing experiences; followed by my removing my pants, & wearing only a t-shirt, socks, & a cloth diaper & plastic pants; while sitting on the floor of her office.
She has me bring a pacifier & baby toys (I.e. rattle, yellow duck, play blocks); and play with them, while I suck on my pacifier, as she directs me to crawl around, or to play with a specific toy. During my most recent session, she changed my diaper & rubbed baby powder on me (she had told me during the previous session to drink a lot of fluid before coming in, & to bring a baby bottle of milk, for the session).
She surprised me by telling me that she wants me to come to her home & have further "unofficial" sessions, on a twice per week basis. If I do not, she said that she could have me "committed" to a mental institution; thus I must comply, by
coming to her private home regression therapy sessions.
So far, I have had 3 private - unofficial regression therapy sessions @ her home. She has an adult - sized playpen, with a locking top, that is made entirely of steel (just like a cage); so that I cannot get out, until she decides to unlock it! She told me to plan for some overnight sessions, starting with my next one.
She also has directed me to spend an entire week there (while I am "on vacation" from my job). She also mentioned that she will have me move in with her; so she can conduct continual regression therapy sessions. While I enjoy having her treat me as a baby, I fear what may come next; as she enjoys having the power & control over me; by making me be a baby, & directing my actions.
I am intimidated by being locked up into the cage - like playpen, for hours at a time (which she clearly enjoys doing to me)! I must do this, or she will have me committed to a mental hospital.